Dear Sons: Can We Talk About Death And Dying?
US News and World Report | Philip Moeller
Dear Sons:
You are now 28 and 32, respectively, and have been out, and for the most part, on your own for the better part of a decade. Even getting you home for a visit is a rare and potentially awkward event. So I can only imagine how close to the moon you will be transported by today's request.
Your mother and I want to talk to you seriously, and in detail, about how we now see the later years of our lives, of the things we want you to know and possibly some of the difficult decisions you may need to make for us as we get older.
[Read: Making Sure Your End-of-Life Wishes Are Followed.]
First off, this request is not some smokescreen for sending you a veiled and calamitous message about our health â€" financial or physical. We are doing fine in the money and body departments. In fact, we want to talk with you now precisely because things are going well.
Making plans for the future shouldn't wait until your mother or I are at death's door or until we face some funding crisis about our retirement income. Based on current longevity tables, we expect to live well into our 80s and expect at least one of us to live past 90. That's a long way off, we know, so what's the rush?
The rush is that stuff happens to people like us. Even if we take great care of ourselves, heart attacks and strokes happen. Auto accidents and chronic illnesses happen. Early onset dementia happens. Do you have a clue what you'd do if one or both of us was incapacitated and unable to make important decisions about our health care?
You are now 28 and 32, respectively, and have been out, and for the most part, on your own for the better part of a decade. Even getting you home for a visit is a rare and potentially awkward event. So I can only imagine how close to the moon you will be transported by today's request.
Your mother and I want to talk to you seriously, and in detail, about how we now see the later years of our lives, of the things we want you to know and possibly some of the difficult decisions you may need to make for us as we get older.
[Read: Making Sure Your End-of-Life Wishes Are Followed.]
First off, this request is not some smokescreen for sending you a veiled and calamitous message about our health â€" financial or physical. We are doing fine in the money and body departments. In fact, we want to talk with you now precisely because things are going well.
Making plans for the future shouldn't wait until your mother or I are at death's door or until we face some funding crisis about our retirement income. Based on current longevity tables, we expect to live well into our 80s and expect at least one of us to live past 90. That's a long way off, we know, so what's the rush?
The rush is that stuff happens to people like us. Even if we take great care of ourselves, heart attacks and strokes happen. Auto accidents and chronic illnesses happen. Early onset dementia happens. Do you have a clue what you'd do if one or both of us was incapacitated and unable to make important decisions about our health care?
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